21 Essentials at 21
- Ariana Raghian
- 1 day ago
- 3 min read
I turned 21 yesterday on March 7, 2026, which is a monumental year. And just like every birthday, in the days leading up to my birthday I've been asked "how does it feel?" Well... it feels surreal, like the past 21 years have been a TV show I've had on 4x speed and I can't seem to rewind no matter how hard I try. And while I am trying to hold on to every part of my childhood, I also feel relieved that I don't have to relive so many hard moments. I have done my time as an angsty teenager, so actually, no thank you, I am good staying at 21. But, at the same time, I wish I could go back and tell little me to practice her farsi more often, to not bleach her hair during lockdown, and so many other things. And since that's not possible, here's the master list of things I would've told little me- just for you.
Birthdays will always be special
Even if you over play them in your head and end up being disappointed they’re still special.
Start standing up
You will actually get stuff done once you’re in motion- some guy named Newton also had something to say about this- so stand up and just start moving.
You can’t hate yourself into a version of yourself that you’ll like
And if you think you can… no you can’t.
It’s okay to start over
Even if you think you’re too far in, I promise you can always flip the page.
You don’t have to study something you hate
You can major in something you love and still be successful.
There is no “safe option” in college
Those who are in STEM are taking as much of a gamble on their future as those in the humanities.
Not all friends are meant to be permanent
Stop draining yourself holding on to them so tight.
Yes, your lucky number is real
Even if it’s a placebo, hold it close to your heart.
Real friends won’t make you feel small
You shouldn’t have to beg for their attention or invitations.
Inconvenience yourself for those you love
A community isn’t built on low effort, it’s built with love, time, and endless sacrifice.
Everything is better with music
Turn that AI Spotify DJ off and give me a niche perfectly curated playlist for this exact situation.
You have to watch mom and dad’s master list of Romantic Comedies
When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, You’ve Got Mail, and so many more are non-negotiables in this household.
That butterfly was a kiss from home
Wave back, blow it a kiss, and give it a message to take back.
There is no such thing as too many pictures
I already wish I had more from back home, all the vacations I’ve been on, happy moments, and even the hard times.
That frizz you can’t seem to get control over is actually curly hair
And no you don’t have to straighten it to be pretty or professional.
Yoga in the mornings and treadmill at night
Perfect start and end to the day to stay balanced and sane.
It’s okay to not like everyone
Not everyone likes you either !
It’s never weak to ask for help
It’s okay to not be at 100% all the time, and if getting help is what helps you to get back to 100%, then that’s the best thing you can do for yourself.
Read as much as you can whenever you can
Physical copies, ebooks, audio books, magazines, newspapers, articles, blogs, whatever it is just keep reading
You are a reflection of all those you keep close and things you love
And I think it looks great on you!
Say I love you often and genuinely
You never know who needs to hear it and when it might be the last time.
I'm sure this list of essentials will continue to change and grow, and in a few years I'll look back at 21 year old me and have things I wish I could have changed. There's a lot of things I can't go back and change, and there's a lot of things awaiting me that I don't know anything about. I do, however, know that little me would think I'm pretty cool and that's the best birthday present I could've asked for, and I hope in a few years 21 year old me feels the same way about future me. But for now, thank you to every version of me that's gotten me to where I am today.
And happy birthday.
Love, Ariana
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