Confessions of a Caffeine Addict

I don't remember how, but I got my hands on my first cup of coffee at the ripe age of eleven years old. A popular chain opened just outside my neighborhood, less than a five minute walk, and from then on I spent my middle school allowance paying for Frappuccinos and iced lattes with enough artificial sugar to send me to the moon.

Little has changed since then. When I was fifteen, I forcibly acquired a taste for pitch black coffee, no sugar no creamer, because I thought it was super cool and edgy. Nowadays a simple black Americano from my Breville is enough to satiate me, but on more whimsical days I allow myself to splurge on a cafe crafted monstrosity (ten dollars for a latte is still absolutely ridiculous to me).

If I decide to buy coffee, it needs to be the most insane dessert flavored concoction I've ever tasted. Like some next level cinnamon roll-tiramisu-gingerbread disaster I can't ever imagine making on my own. If I'm paying ten bucks (ten! bucks! like five coffees is fifty! dollars!), I genuinely need my stomach to take a screenshot for it to be worth it. I'm not messing around.

All this to say that I'm a little crazy when it comes to my caffeine. And to avoid any repeat disasters, I've been keeping a log in my phone of different cafes and orders so I can remember how much I like them. Here's my working list of hits and misses from places around campus and in my home town, which is shortened to a list at the bottom of the blog if you don't want to read all of my yapping. I hope my field research is of some use to you!

Caramel Cold Brew - Dunkin' Donuts

Currently drinking this as I'm writing. I'd give it a solid 6/10, it's the classic Dunkin' cold brew with caramel swirl and their sweet cold foam.

Dunkin's coffee is always hit or miss, and I've learned the tricks of the trade in my last three years at UIC. Don't get the iced coffee. The cold brew will basically clean your digestive system, and the lattes are good if you have enough sugar in them.

This one's not too sweet and the cold brew has that slightly burnt taste I like. One of my friends says that Dunkin' always tastes like creek water with sugar and I'd say that sums it up nicely.

Strawberry Matcha - Gathers

We know her, we love her, and I'll always give her a whopping 10/10. Gathers is worth the hype (and the walk), I don't care what anyone says. It's genuinely some of the best matcha I've ever had in my life and they get the sweetness and strawberry right every single time.

I'm a chugger and this drink goes down the pipe in under five minutes. It's a habit I've been trying to break, because it's actually comical how I drink ten bucks in ten seconds. From here on out I'll try to be a sipper. Wish me luck.

Cinnalicious Iced Latte - Scooter's

Oh my gosh. One sip of this beautiful, gorgeous drink and I had genuine tears in my eyes. I'm forever Scooter's number one customer and I'll genuinely drive thirty minutes from my house just for their coffee. A glorious 11/10.

Honestly just look at how beautiful this latte is. Who wouldn't get emotional? I'm about to cry again just looking at it.

I will say I get their coffee half sweet because they do put a lot of love (sugar) into their drinks, so if you're not a tooth-rotting-latte person I'd highly recommend reducing the sweetness!

Blondie - 7 Brew

BOO! Tomato Tomato! I think 7 Brew is so overrated. Why am I waiting 45 minutes in a drive-thru of teenage drivers just to get the milkiest drink I've ever laid my eyes on. Is there even coffee in this? I've tried their drinks twice, and both times it tasted like something died in my mouth. It's just way too sweet and milky. I'd give it a generous 3/10. Maybe I've been ordering wrong (mainly TikTok recommendations) but I don't think it's worth the wait or the money if it'll take me out before I turn thirty.

Sugar Cookie Matcha - Storybook Cafe

Remember those Walmart sugar cookies with the pink icing from elementary school? This matcha tastes exactly like that, it's so nostalgic and their matcha to milk ratio is on point! I'd give it a solid 9/10, they're a relatively new cafe and the inside is so cute and aesthetic. I would want to go back and try some of their other drinks, like their coffee, sometime!

Brown Sugar Shaken Espresso with Oat milk - OUD

I usually don't go for shaken espressos, but I think this is easily OUD's best drink. They always get the sweetness just right, and unlike most Brown Sugar Shakens it actually tastes like brown sugar instead of just basic sugar flavoring. Their espresso is also smooth and strong, and the drink isn't watery like most shaken espressos. I'd give it a solid 8/10. I wish this place was closer to campus so I could go more often!

Pumpkin Cookie Butter Latte - Sweet Reserve

Sorry for the half finished drink in the photo, but I had to document this atrocity. Never in my 10 years as a coffee connoisseur have I tasted such a painfully sweet drink. I thought my teeth were going to decay right then and there and fall out of my mouth. It was like drinking a cup of cookie butter spread with a straw. I guess they call themselves Sweet Reserve for a reason, but I'll never order that 2/10 drink again. I'm sure it tastes better with reduced sweetness, but this experience was so blood sugar altering that I won't take the risk.

Pistachio Spice Matcha - Ground Up

I'd give her a 7/10. The pistachio flavor was there but it was honestly too sweet for my taste. The matcha was super thick and yummy, though, so I'd definitely want to give it another try with less sweetness. The spice part left a bitter black-pepper taste in my mouth for a while, which was just unlucky. Overall it's a solid option if you're close by but if Gathers is an option... get your matcha from there. Ground Up's lattes are pretty solid though, and I always get their Pumpkin Spice latte in the fall!

Strawberry Matcha - Oni Maki

This one really surprised me! This place is pretty new and opened close to campus, it's gone viral on TikTok so the line was long. I'd give their matcha a 8/10, it's no Gathers but it's still really good. I noticed their employees hand whisk everything, and you can taste the time and effort in the drink. They also have hand rolls which were really yummy, so I'd probably go back just for the sushi!

Salted Caramel Latte - Haraz

My best friend works here so I like to go and bother her every once in a while. This latte is so good and the cold foam is super yummy, a 7/10 overall. I rarely see Salted Caramel done right but the flavor really shines in this drink. I did try it half sweet the other day and it was not it, so I'd definitely stick to the standard sweetness for the best experience. Feel free to go and bother my friend if you find yourself there.

I can't believe I went on about so many drinks. The worst part is that I have more I could review, so maybe I'll consider a part two someday. Here's a short summary of the drinks and my overall rating:

• Caramel Cold Brew, Dunkin Donuts - 6/10

• Strawberry Matcha, Gathers - 10/10

• Cinnalicous Iced Latte (Half Sweet!), Scooters - 11/10

• Blondie, 7 Brew - 3/10

• Sugar Cookie Matcha, Storybook Cafe - 9/10

• Brown Sugar Shaken Espresso, OUD - 8/10 (Recommend Oat Milk)

• Pumpkin Cookie Butter Latte, Sweet Reserve - 2/10 (Way too sweet)

• Pistachio Spice Matcha, Ground Up - 7/1 0 (Recommend Half Sweet)

• Strawberry Matcha, Oni Maki - 8/10

• Salted Caramel Latte, Haraz - 7/10

Thanks for reading! I hope everyone has a great week and that you get to drink overpriced lattes to your hearts content!

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