Forgive, But Don't Forget

We’ve all heard of the familiar phrase “forgive and forget,” as if letting go of a painful experience would rid the emotional weight it carries. But why should we be the ones to let go of something we never asked for? What if it’s impossible to move on from things we had no control over? Maybe it’s healthier to close the moment while still holding onto the lesson it came with.

This isn’t about bitterness or holding grudges; this is about closing a chapter in your life for good. Doing so allows you to navigate the world as a better version of yourself, even if it comes from someone else's mistake.

Why Should We Forgive?

Let’s talk about forgiveness.

To forgive is to acknowledge harm while still choosing to come to peace with it. It’s something so powerful that we hold it because only you have control over it. But that doesn’t make it easy. “Just let it go” is a phrase I’ve never understood. It mainly comes from people who aren’t living with the consequence. No one gets to decide when you’re ready. Forgiveness takes a lot of time, and it is often seen as weak, but it is far more complex than that.

When someone wrongs us, we are left with discomfort. Some mistake it for hatred or resentment, but all it is, is curiosity. We begin to question ourselves “why me?" and others “why them?” We are uneasy with the fact that our peace was violated by another’s selfish ways. Many people don’t know how to process these uncomfortable emotions. But sometimes we have to feel uneasy because it makes moving forward possible. 

The Dangers of Forgetting

Unlike forgiving, forgetting can be harmful. When you forget, you skip the essential step that leads to growth. You might think it’s easier to let go and move on but ignoring pain only buries it. Recognizing what happened, even if it hurts, is important. Without reflection, we risk repeating history. The importance of not forgetting is learning from one circumstance so you know how to approach the next.

Another trap is time. Many of us are so blinded by the time elapsed between when the moment occurred and present day. We often choose the path that feels most convenient. We gravitate towards letting our memory slip because it’s simpler that way. Don’t let how long ago something was dictate the amount of seriousness it still holds. These are real moments that shaped you. Do not let the illusion of time rob you of your self-respect. 

Become The Reason

To grow, it is essential that we remember our journey along the way. This allows us to set boundaries within ourselves and in relationships with others. It also prevents us from being hurt the same way again. Boundaries don’t prevent people from harming us for no reason of course. We can’t control others, but we always can control ourselves. Start seeing people for who they truly are and never question yourself. Those unanswered questions are simply events that had to happen in order for us to grow. Everything has a purpose. So instead of wondering why it happened to you, become the reason why it happened.

(Photo From Pinterest)