HADES - Melanie Martinez (Album Review)
- Joey Gilbertson
- 18 hours ago
- 7 min read
Hey everyone!
It's been a while since I've sat down and done a full album review (for better or for worse), so I decided it was time to really sink my teeth into a full body of work and give an organized critique for once.
Introduction
Melanie Martinez has always been a wild card in the music industry. She reached her peak in popularity with her debut album, Crybaby, and has been trying to recapture that level of success ever since. Her sophomore album, K-12, showed slight artistic growth but was too similar to her first to feel like a significant departure. That's not to say these albums were bad, but they were definitely very similar to one another. Like most alt-pop fans, I have a pretty deep history with Melanie's music and have distinct memories of listening to these first two albums. After a long hiatus, she dropped her third album, PORTALS, which seems like it solely existed to end the storyline she had created with her first two albums. While it was definitely the biggest evolution in her artistry at that point, many retired fans were just not interested enough in this new era to fully invest in it. Not to mention, cracks were starting to show in Melanie's songwriting on that album. I'm definitely pointing out a lot of negatives right now, but the truth is, none of these issues were all that glaring at the time. But in hindsight, well... let's just start talking about this new album..
Overview
So here we go. Melanie Martinez's newest album, HADES, was described as an album that addresses the many political and social issues taking place in the world right now. It's 18 tracks long and runs about 1 hour, which is definitely a lot longer than her other projects. It made me wonder whether the content in this record really warranted such a long runtime. I didn't have a lot of other expectations going into this record, so I went ahead and strapped in for this hour-long ride. After just 30 minutes, I was already yearning for the ride to end. The first half of this album is the most promising, in my opinion. A couple of the tracks here are alright, with only a few fumblers. The one thing that this project really has going for it is the production. It felt more akin to what was on PORTALS, but was also experimental enough not to feel too derivative. This sound is a good example of what I think of when I hear "alternative pop"; there are many themes and progressions that would never appear on a standard pop record. So yes, the production of this album was somewhat refreshing and is pretty much the one thing it has going for it.
Songwriting..?
The two glaring issues I have with this record are: 1- the songwriting, and 2- the portrayal of its themes. Let's start with the lyrics. There are many, many cases where a line carries no structure or tie to the rest of the lyrics surrounding it- just a statement with a melody tacked on. There are rhymes and wordplay; it just feels so forced sometimes that it can't really be called good writing.
Here's an example from IS THIS A CULT?;
"Get on all fours, bark like a dummy / Now we're all taking turns on the pony / Put a saddle on him, feed him macaroni / Pull his teeth out one by oney"
Like, seriously? Pull his teeth out one by oney? Making up words (oney?) just to make a mediocre run of lyrics rhyme is really... unfortunate.
I've seen a lot of people on TikTok making fun of this particular line as well (from GRUDGES);
"I mean, I lit a candle for this, burned some bay leaves for this / Cried to God for this (scream) / Ha, to turn me into a I don't give a single flying f-ckity, f-ck, f-ck, f-ck machine"
Wow. Truly a masterclass in writing. I really hate to be so negative, but literally, what am I even reading? I don't think this one needs much explaining, and I don't think it is funny in an ironic or campy way... It's just flat-out bad.
Theming
My next issue is the project's theming. If nothing else, you might think that a project highlighting the many issues taking place in the world would be a positive thing, even if the messages aren't conveyed properly, right? At least if the message is spreading, that can only be a good thing, right? Well... you would think. Unfortunately, I don't like how Melanie has approached most of these topics.
These are very touchy and sensitive issues, and whenever she makes a good point and dismantles the opposing argument, she immediately follows it with some kind of violence or hate towards the people she's critiquing. I won't get into whether I think fighting fire with fire is constructive, but Melanie unintentionally shoots herself in the foot by consistently doing so.
For someone who speaks a lot about how violent and heartless the far-right is, on tracks like WHITE BOY WITH A GUN or MONOPOLY MAN, she has a tendency to combat a lot of the violence that she seemingly swears against with the same level of vitriol. She fantasizes a lot about mentally or physically harming the people opposing her, and while many would just call that her being 'edgy', I find it very unnecessary and downright harmful to her argument and overall cause.
An example that I would like to point to is in GUTTER, where the message is about homeless people in America, and how they are portrayed as savages in our society. This isn't a new idea, sure, but I actually really liked the simple, heartfelt delivery of this song. It effectively critiques people who look down on the less fortunate, ignoring the fact that these are real people with pasts, families, friends, and hobbies. It's delicate but direct. She then desecrates all of this thoughtful commentary with the bridge;
"If everything's said and done and you're around, I'ma run / I'd rather die than be near you (Haha) / Evil is as evil does (haha), y'all can just go get f-cked (Haha) / We'll be haunting you, haunting (haha), haunting you, haunting you"
It's not that I don't agree with the sentiment of this bridge; it just doesn't add anything to the song. The song already establishes the privileged's ignorance throughout, so this part just feels like it's punching down for no reason. It transforms the song from being a serious take into something that feels slightly childish. It's unfortunate, and this situation happens in many of the songs on this record.
If you need an extreme case of this issue, I recommend giving THE VATICAN a listen. It genuinely gave me a laugh the first time I heard it. I just couldn't believe what I was hearing. I understand the point she's trying to make, but it honestly just comes out as rooted in suppressed homophobia and isn't delicate enough when talking about the sexual abuse of literal children in the catholic church. It's really not a good look.
I want to be clear- I'm not criticizing the message or Melanie's political beliefs- I agree with her on just about every single one of the issues she's bringing to light on this album. I just don't like the way she presents all of this to the listener.
Not to mention, she reiterates her point... a lot. WEIGHT WATCHERS, UNCANNY VALLEY, and CHATROOM all pretty much have a very similar message. I kid you not: for every theme/topic mentioned in this record, there are at least 2 songs covering the same point that barely differ from one another. There are a couple of decent lyrics in each song, but they get lost in the clutter of this 18-track album. This begs the question: if some of these songs were combined, would we have a more consistent, well-focused end product? Maybe. But one things for sure- this album is definitely way too long. It lost my attention after track 11.
This is all looking pretty grim, I know. But this project isn't all bad. A few songs managed to stand out to me. The lead single, POSESSION, is the only song on this record that I can see myself listening to on any given day. It actually has a pretty good hook, decent production, and no notably bad lyrics. I also found some value in the two ballads: AVOIDANT and MONOLITH. AVOIDANT isn't anything too special, but I think it has an interesting perspective on being in a toxic relationship. The idea that your love is so powerful that it will continue to be passed down through every new relationship your ex explores is interesting. MONOLITH just discusses the effects of being a persona that people constantly project onto, and never being rewarded for your efforts. Not a particularly fresh idea, but the imagery is nice, and the delivery is good enough. But other than these songs, and a couple of good productional moments, that's really all I was able to take away from this project. It's disappointing to see from an artist that I grew up listening to.
I believe Melanie said that this overarching project was supposed to be a double album release, so we can wait to see how that turns out. But honestly, I'm not holding my breath.
That being said, here goes my final rating, and thank you for reading!
"HADES" by Melanie Martinez
Song Ratings:
(5/10 being average)
GARBAGE: 5/10
IS THIS A CULT?: 2/10
POSESSION: 8/10
WHITE BOY WITH A GUN: 5/10
DISNEY PRINCESS: 6/10
GRUDGES: 2/10
MONOPOLY MAN: 5/10
AVOIDANT: 6/10
MONOLITH: 6/10
WEIGHT WATCHERS: 3/10
THE PLAGUE: 4/10
BATSHIT INTELLIGENCE: 3/10
GUTTER: 6/10
UNCANNY VALLEY: 4/10
THE VATICAN: 2/10
HELL'S FRONT PORCH: 3/10
CHATROOM: 4/10
THE LAST TWO PEOPLE ON EARTH: 3/10
Overall Rating: 3/10
TLDR;
By construction, "HADES" is supposed to be a critical think piece on the current state of the world. In its process, however, it comes across as too aggressive and combative, immediately dispelling the possibility of any meaningful conversation to arise from this project. In addition, there are many baffling lyrical choices and little evidence of quality songwriting on this record, which only emphasizes the unnecessary hour-and-ten-minute runtime. Despite some interesting production moments, it is not enough to make the project a worthwhile listen. This album paints a grim picture of her future projects if Martinez cannot avoid these glaring problems going forward.
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