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  • Nathan Groves

I Can See Us Dying Always (Cloudy)


A marriage to grief 

A Black Attire Wedding 

Foolish lies the man who wanted something more 

Restful lies the man who asked for nothing 


One of many great mysteries 

Time and time have we questioned it 

and in this restless questioning 

We found nothing

So we made an imaginary man in the sky 

and we gave him many names

and we said that we came from him 

and return to him 

and we created stories 

Just to ease our minds 

and relieve us from curiosity  


But I’m married to curiosity,

and I’ve found faith 

and it wasn’t in prophets

and it wasn't in some all-knowing being

It was in the mortality

the fragility

and the unpublished stories

of flesh and blood


I will tell you something 

and I will say it in love and not to worry. 

If I have loved you, I have pictured your funeral 

and if you have loved me, I have pictured you at mine. 

It’s a bizarre contradiction, but we are both dying. 

Always.


But no, it's nothing to worry about

because we are all born with purpose.

and to have purpose is to be. 

It's as simple as being.

And in this being, there lies a soul. 

tightly sealed wrapping 

ready to be opened 

on another 

Christmas morning 


Oh, death. Oh, sweet relief. 

There were days and weeks and years 

where I prayed to know you 

and I will one day 

But not soon

 No, I have more of this life to live

Much, much more.




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