is yearning trending?

Photos - Google

As of recently it feels as if the whole world is yearning for something or someone. I genuinely cannot scroll through TikTok or Instagram without seeing a gut wrenching video or hearing a song about yearning. Ever since Bruno Mars released his new song Risk It All (which was literally 10 days ago as I'm writing this blog) there has been an influx of yearning TikToks to reach my FYP, more so than usual. I remember specifically when The Summer I Turned Pretty was dropping weekly episodes, there was a lot of talk about "true yearners". Everyone at the time seemed to be mourning some sort of loss, and honestly to this day it doesn't feel any different. This got me thinking about how people truly define yearning and (if I may channel my inner Carrie Bradshaw) I couldn't help but wonder: Are we all really yearning, or is yearning simply just a trend right now?

I think first and foremost we have to define yearning. Google says that it is "A feeling of intense longing for something, typically something that one has been separated from or that is unattainable." Another similar defintion is "An intense, tender, or at times desparate longing for something or someone, often involving a deep emotional desire for what is lost, absent, or difficult to attain." That is a bit of a long winded definition, so let's break it down to one key phrase: intense/desperate longing for something (or someone) lost or unattainable. Just this definition alone makes yearning sound uncomfortable and often times fruitless. I've heard a couple people say that they love yearning, or that they want someone who strongly yearns for them often followed by the phrase "someone who yearns is someone who earns". While part of me agrees with this phrase, the other part of me has red flashing lights going off. I think it makes total sense to want to be with someone who completely wants to be with you, adores you, and all that good stuff, but honestly I'm not sure I would wish such a strong and often tormenting emotion on someone. I think yearning (specifically the loss of a person or connection) is a very slow and agonizing feeling. If I can describe it quickly, it feels like running out of oxygen while being stabbed slowly, and this is me being undramatic.

Now, to stop myself from sounding like an unreliable narrator, I've asked a couple of friends (who have experienced yearning/desperate longing in any form) to share their thoughts on yearning and whether or not they would consider it enjoyable. The responses were pretty much the same around the board: yearning is painful and uncomfortable. There however, were a few people that could see some slight light at the end of the tunnel. My friend Chris describes it to be "pretty fun and enjoyable to an extent because it gives you something to look forward to, but if its out of reach then it kinda feels like someones stabbing you slowly." Kaylee says that yearning is "stressful and you don't feel satisfied. You have to keep digging and digging for fulfillment." My favorite answer was from my friend Brian. Brian says that yearning can definitely be "strangely enjoyable". He says that "yearning for someone is like this constant feeling you get of missing them or wanting to be with them and it can feel hopeful, but it's sad at the same time. You always keep thinking about them and wishing they were around, but then you snap back into reality and realize you don't fully have them so it feels sad and heavy." I think this describes true yearning perfectly and it can be about more than just a person.

So, with all that being said, let's get back to our main question: are we all yearners or is it just trending? Whether it be the videos we scroll past, the songs we listen to, or the relationships we experience, I believe there are forms of yearning all around us. Yearning doesn't necessarily have to be because you've lost something, it is totally possible for you to feel the same feelings of intense longing for something you've never had. I think that because of media and movies yearning kind of has become a trend and we've romanticized it in a way that makes it seem like a silly and fun emotion. And maybe for some people it is silly and fun, but if you really look at fictional characters, true yearners don't enjoy the feeling for a second. It's a persistent, agonizing, and constant ache that drives them crazy. It is an all consuming emotion that provides little to no relief. With all the songs, edits, and movies that portray yearning, it makes sense that we all would be feeling it in one way or another, but true deep yearning stems from a lot more than simply seeing someone experience it on your tv. I like to think of it as one of the only emotions you'll never have to doubt whether you actually feel it or not. If you are yearning for someone or something you'll know because you'll probably feel it with your whole being.

In conclusion, in a generation where genuine connections seem to be few and far between, I would say that it does make sense that a lot of people are experiencing forms of yearning. To anybody reading this who may be yearning for something or someone, trust you aren't alone. I think even though the emotion usually is negative, there is something (though it may be small) about yearning that makes you feel alive. I think the fact that we as humans have the ability to feel such a strong emotion so deeply is quite beautiful. It does however suck to have such strong emotions without being able to deliver them.

I hope you all enjoyed this weeks blog and I hope it wasn't triggering in any way lol🌚. Have an amazing rest of your week, and if you consider yourself a yearner, I hope that one glorious day you will be someone who earns!!

With love always,

~Side Note xoxo 💋