“Your love language is what your life lacks.” This statement has been circulating all over social media and made me wonder -- is this really true?
The 5 love languages, created by counselor Garry Chapman, are: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch. Love language has power and not only shows us how we express our love for friends, family and significant others, but also shows us how we want to be loved.
Words of affirmation: Some feel most loved with comments of admiration and appreciation. Words of affirmation can be received through a text, phone call, written on a post it note and, of course, verbally.
Acts of service: This love language involves the want to help or do kind gestures for your love interest. An example of this would be helping your loved one make their coffee in the morning before they rush off to work.
Receiving gifts: Those of us who have this love language are not solely materialistic. Receiving gifts is more about the idea behind a specific gift that tells a person their partner is thinking of them. The gift could be something very simple, like their favorite snack.
Quality time: Intentional efforts of giving your loved ones undivided attention makes this language the most successful. Planning dates or activities, not being distracted by the outside world and refraining from using your phone is needed within this language.
Physical touch: This language is more simple than you would think. A hug, a high-five and holding hands all classify under this language.
Now let's analyze ourselves. Think about what your love language is for just a minute. If this is hard for you like it was for me, take this survey: https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language. Next think: “Am I Receiving the love language I give to others?” There are a few outcomes to this question. 1.Yes 100% yes you are, 2.Kind of / sometimes, and 3.No.
No can come from many reasons, such as simply no one in your life reciprocates your language to you or you tend to push away your love language. For example, if your love language is “acts of service,” but whenever a loved one offers to help you with something and you always say "no its okay," then you are pushing your love language away. Maybe you don't want to be a burden, but desperately deep down, you do crave the help. Don’t worry we can fix this issue by first acknowledging It.
If your partner does not give you the love language you need, have a kind conversation that eases into the topic. The conversation could start with the question of “what's your love language?” or a joke, then it could turn towards statements like “I feel most loved when …” Remember to keep the convo light and simple. Try to refrain from becoming frustrated because most of the time partners, and many people in general, do not realize how important it is to reciprocate love languages.
If you are pushing away your own love language then you need to make it a mission to accept it. Say yes when someone asks to help you.
Overall, I don't think the statement “Your love language is what your life lacks” is necessarily true. It is normal to lack your love language every now and then, depending on where you are in life. However, the main reason I think this isn't true is because you can give your love language to yourself. Here is an example on how from a TikTok by kimperetzz.
--- Victoria Trax