MILF-Monsters I'd like to F*ck

With the recent release of Guillermo Del Toro's rendition of the iconic Frankenstein, it has brought back the conversation related to sexy monsters on screen. Jacob Elordi as 'The Creature' is the newest addition to the universe of monsters that many people feel an attraction towards. For this week's edition of 'Into the Bush', let's go through some of Del Toro's movie monsters and what about these characters is so alluring.

Mia Goth and Jacob Elordi in Frankenstein (Netflix)

Some disclaimers before we begin: I'll only be adding characters from the Del Toro films that I've seen, I'm only picking the monsters who would make you scream in the streets (sorry Blade, love you girl), I can't put them all, so I'm putting my personal favorites. Some honorable mentions are The Fawn from Pan's Labyrinth, The Angel of Death from Hellboy, The Reapers from Blade II, and Jesus from Cronos.

Red Ghost in Crimson Peak (Legendary Pictures)

Crimson Peak is the first in our list with the Red Ghost. The ghost itself is not one sole entity, nor does it appear in the same form each time. It's a culmination of the women who have died in the main location of the movie, Allerdale Hall. The star of the film, Mia Wasikowska, who portrays Edith, is visited by these ghosts throughout the film as a warning of her possible fate. This is the only non-romantic connection on this list, but it represents a deep spiritual and psychological one.

Del Toro frequently uses the color red in his films, and for fans of his, it's a clear identifier of otherworldliness, often evoking a religious connotation. This ghost in particular is visually striking, and knowing the context of who she represents, there's a softness. She has no desire to scare Edith, but actually to save her from suffering a similar demise. Ghosts, in particular, are not always vengeful, but rather lost souls seeking a way to pass on. The beauty behind this "monster" may lie in the fact that if the cycle of violence is broken, she will be free. I love a woman with a protective nature and a kind spirit.

Mia Wasikowska and Red Ghost (Legendary Pictures)

Sally Hawkins and Doug Jones in The Shape of Water (TSG Entertainment)

The Amphibian Man from The Shape of Water centers on the beauty behind silence. Sally Hawkins' character, Elisa, is mute and builds upon this bond through sign language. He not only serves face and has a gorgeous blue/green color palette, but is also full of curiosity and tenderness. Elisa finds comfort in his innocence and in being a bridge to the outside world. As Elisa is an orphan, mute, and a woman. She's not very high in the social hierarchy, and it's through her understanding of being an outsider that she sees herself in him. A line from Elisa that sticks with me is when Giles says The Amphibian Man isn't human and she replies, "What am I? I move my mouth, like him, I make no sound, like him. What does that make me?"

Their emotional chemistry turns sexual, and your expectations of the movie are sent in a completely different direction. The dedication that the two characters feel for each other is heartwarming, and you root for the couple. I feel that this film was one of the clear-cut examples in the mainstream of "monsters" being sexually desirable. Now it's a running joke that Del Toro has the power to make you fall in love with the monster.

The Amphibian Man (TSG Entertainment)

The Creature (Netflix)

Del Toro's most recent addition to his monster collection is Jacob Elordi as The Creature in Frankenstein. The movie was recently added to Netflix, but I was lucky enough to see it in theaters during the opening weekend. Elordi is very tall, towering over his co-stars, so you could say he's fitting for the role. I can't say that The Creature is terrifying to look at, but if you were to see a 6'5 guy with a ton of scars on his face/body running at you, roaring, and barely flinching from getting shot, you'd be freaked.

Without going into detail for those who have yet to see it, The Creature seeks companionship. One of his first instincts with Victor is to embrace him, but he is often met with cruelty, impatience, and rejection. You can't help but feel empathetic toward his pain. Aren't we all forced into this world and trying to find our way through it with the hope that love will meet us?

Ron Perlman and Selma Blair in Hellboy (Columbia Pictures)

Now we're getting into my top two. First is Hellboy, the child of one of the dukes of Hell, summoned to Earth by Nazi Occultists; he has a layered origin story. Hellboy is a big, strong, sexy man who loves cats and has a bad attitude. Who wouldn't want him? Hellboy was my first Del Toro movie, and as a kid who didn't often feel "normal", I could see myself in the characters. Hellboy, who has a confidence masking an unspoken insecurity, and Liz, who suppresses her true self out of fear of her power.

Hellboy is always fighting against expectations and has a rebellious side that is rooted in his desire to feel connected to the human world. Besides his appearance and his power, Hellboy was raised by humans and has the same desires as many of us. He wants to love, to be respected, to hold freedom, to create community, and to be seen. It's through his flaws or mistakes that he learns to develop as a person, but I appreciate that he tries not to take himself too seriously. He exudes an energy that suggests there's no pressure. In my recent rewatch of the films, I was reminded of his relationship with Liz. He's not a perfect partner, and you can see why his antics drive her crazy sometimes, but he is wholeheartedly devoted to her.

Hellboy (Columbia Pictures)

Doug Jones and Anna Walton in Hellboy II: The Golden Army (Universal Pictures)

MY MANNNNNNNNNN!!!! Abe Sapien is the number one monster in the Del Toro films, and no one can change my mind. He is the total package in so many ways. He's extremely intelligent and an avid reader. He has a love for art, music, and literature. He's soft spoken, but has a protective and hardworking nature. He may be awkward and isn't always the smoothest talker, but he's sassy. And who doesn't love a guy who you could yap to all night and he'd not only listen to every word, but remembers it all. He's got a face card, and the body is tea. He has empathic powers, so you never have to worry about hiding your feelings, he'll always try to understand you. He also has powers of touch, where he can learn your history and deepen his connection to you.

Abe keeps the team together and has a very fun dynamic with Hellboy, serving as the voice of reason to an impulsive character. In the second film, you get to see how hard Abe falls for the person he loves and the kind of dedication that he's capable of. For Princess Nuala, Abe would do anything and was even willing to risk the end of the world to be by her side. Their connection is so strong that it's telepathic. As a queer kid, seeing the two of them together was the definition of bi-panic. Abe has my heart, but the true synopsis of this blog is that Doug Jones is the monster of all of our dreams, and I love him bad.

Abe Sapien (Universal Pictures)

Who's the Sexiest Monster?

Change Image

• Abe Sapien
• The Creature
• Hellboy
• Amphibian Man

See All Options