Nobody Knows What I'm Thinking
My name is Mallory Taylor, and nobody knows what I’m thinking. This statement is very self-explanatory and applies to everyone, yet I find solace in it. In a world where everything a person does is surveilled and/or judged, I like knowing that what goes on in my head belongs only to me. As far as I know, nobody knows what I’m thinking.
As my first blog post, I’d like to introduce myself and share what I am and am not. I am often identified as “quirky”, “spunky”, “self-expressive”, or flat out “weird”. These names have been given to me as long as I can remember. I don’t hate them, nor do I love them. I guess I’ve reclaimed them… given them a new home. I’m not entirely sure how I developed this personality. My mom was a cheerleader in high school, my dad a fraternity brother in college. I speculate it’s due to being a child of divorce, an early exposure to internet media, and a lack of friends in my childhood. Don’t get me wrong, I love how I ended up. I believe my awkward, plaid-clad 7-year-old self would be amazed by everything I’ve experienced and still enjoy as a young adult. But, deep down, I still wonder what small tweak in my life would change how I am today. If my family had never moved before I was born, would I be a “popular girl”? If my parents had never divorced, would I not have been diagnosed with clinical anxiety? I’m a big fan of what-ifs. That’s probably the aforementioned anxiety.
Besides my personal life, I’m a fan of everything irritating, disgusting, freaky, uncomfortable. My favorite movie (as of late) is An American Werewolf in London. My favorite show is Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job. My favorite band is They Might Be Giants… or DEVO, it depends on how I feel that day. I love puppets, wood paneling, and synthesizers. I HATE when people walk around on their cell phones. I'm starting to hate cell phones in general, but I am no saint. My friends live in there. I hate Rob Lowe. It’s a deep-seated childhood trauma, as he's played a villain in multiple movies I enjoyed growing up. I am missing the right tooth between my front and canine teeth. The one that mirrors it is also tiny, so it kind of looks like I’m missing 2 teeth. I have a birthmark on the inside of my right thigh that gains a new freckle every year. I also have scoliosis, but I've never had to wear a back brace. I’ve been journaling at least once a week since I was 12 in order to record my life and feelings. With this blog, I will share some of those feelings with the public.
This is what my blog will be. My self-questioning. My curiosities. The things that I like. The things that I don’t. Why I am the way that I am. Please humor me and indulge in what I have to offer. I’m sharing a vulnerability with the small percentage of those who will listen (or read in this case). This is a written catalog of my thoughts, as nobody knows what I am thinking.
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