Subconscious Memories
Hi. I like that I can write about anything. What should I write about today. I don’t have anything particular in mind. I’m just gonna bring up things that I like and elaborate on them if I care to. I’m eating Cheez-Its and listening to Simon and Garfunkel. It makes me feel like that scene in Freddy Got Fingered where Gordy plays music and eats while he draws. I hope you know that scene. I'm not going to mention it. It’s like a lab rat. You have to be fully stimulated to be engaged. Not really they don’t do stuff like that to lab rats I don't know why I said that.
200 Classic Cartoons was a DVD I had growing up that showcased hundreds of vintage cartoons from the 1920s-60s. Public domain stuff. That DVD introduced
me to Gumby, Clutch Cargo, Mighty Mouse, whatever else. I feel like those characters, that nobody my age would have any reason to know, gave me a desire for tack, kitsch. As a toddler, I grew up going to my grandparents' log cabin on the weekends. They were nearly hoarders, with stuff from decades my senior lining the walls. Green and red carpet. Oak furniture. My aunt's bed. Raggedy storybooks. Reflecting on it feels like a dream. Something I knew yesterday, but can only imagine today. I’m just yearning for what seems familiar.
I think I’ve gotten to the point in my adult life where I’m becoming incredibly homesick. My subconscious is constantly recalling these faint, dreamy memories. I am unsure of what’s triggering it. I turn 20 on Sunday. I think my mind is recollecting past birthdays, and in turn I’m gaining a faint memory of what once was.
7 O’clock News by Simon and Garfunkel mentions Chicago a lot. I can’t believe I live here now. It’s strange. That’s another thing about growing up. The
city felt like Oz when I was little. A made-up destination. Something for the most responsible. That’s probably because we always came out of Union Station, only seeing people in suits with briefcases. On top of that, it’s the setting of some of the best coming of age movies. I’m proud of myself. I’m scared to grow up. I can’t watch YouTube and eat cookies as much as I do now as I will when I have a full-time job. I’m sure I'll find a way to balance it. Besides, when I’m grown up, I'll be able to own a sword.
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