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Tell Me I’m Wrong

G | Posted on October 30, 2019

A summary of October’s food fight

Below is what should be considered the final ranking on french fry discourse.

Final ranking on the french fry discourse

Note: French fries must be served warm. Cold, soggy fries are friends to no one.

  1. Seasoned Curly Fries – They’re seasoned and they have a delicious fun shape.

  2. Seasoned Standard or Crinkle Cut Fries – They’re also seasoned and, therefore, better than plain fries.

  3. Belgian Fries – Thick-cut and crunchy with a good balance of crisp to warm potato is the way to go.

  4. Crinkle-Cut Fries – Wavy and medium-thick with a fun shape make these a little more interesting than the standard fries.

  5. Standard Fries – A good middle of the road french fry experience. A classic for a reason.

  6. Steak Cut Fries – While they are wide and thick, their biggest issue is their lack of crunch. It can kind of feel like a weirdly shaped potato wedge.

  7. Shoestring Fries – Long and skinny, this fry tries to make up for quality with quantity. They also go cold faster than their thicker counterparts.

  8. Waffle Fries – Why complicate a fry? How am I supposed to dip this? One of the perks of fries is that they’re easy to eat but waffle fries are just a bit too awkward.

  9. Sweet Potato Fries – Texture and taste-wise, they’re different from other fries, but no matter how they’re cut I’m not a fan.

  10. Anything Trying to Pretend It’s a French Fry – Wrong. It will take some really good zucchini/squash/veggie fries to change my mind. Otherwise, they just taste like deceit.

Loaded fries are the best almost every time, but they include a lot more than just a fried potato so I don’t think the comparison holds up. It wouldn’t be fair to the seasoned curly fries to compete with standard fries loaded with cheese, chicken, tomato, green onion, and all the other variations in loaded fries.

Bonus: the candy corn debate

image

Photo: lauraag (iStock)

Candy corn tastes like…candy corn.

Unfortunately, there’s really no better description for it. They are tri-colored, triangle-shaped, vanilla-scented, and semi-chewy. I’d label candy corn an “acquired taste” and move on.

It holds similar holiday significance to candy hearts for Valentine’s Day. Not particularly tasty, but a common association with the sweet-centric holidays.

Remember, regardless of your opinion, to tune in to Work in Progress weekly on Wednesdays from 6:30-8:30 PM to stay updated on the latest arguments on Food Fight.

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