The Social Currency of an Unsent Text

Nowadays, texting first seems like it needs an entire inner press conference before we can pull the trigger. That little blue bubble (sorry Android users) ... To send or not to send?

Let's unpack the politics.

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Somehow, we've arrived at a point where the person who texts first is perceived as the person who cares more. And caring more, in THIS economy? We can't have that.

The tactical withdrawal... Waiting 3 hours to respond because they waited 4. You can't wait exactly 4, because that would be too obvious what you're doing. You can't wait 5 because that's doing too much at that point. 3 is just right. Sometimes you even choose to not send anything at all. This is a risky move, though, it can be interpreted two ways, one good and one bad. First, it can be interpreted as being totally not invested and busy (congrats! +1 point for you. this is what we want) or it can be interpreted as being very bothered and deliberately not replying to send a message (which is what you did, but we don't want them actually figuring that out).

As goofy as this all sounds, we're all guilty. Let's not act like we've never checked timestamps and read receipts like we're conducting an entire federal investigation. Were they online? Did they see your story? Why did they post on Instagram but not reply to your text? At what point does enough flirting make you qualified to put unpaid intelligence work on your resume?

But listen, UIC, I can't help but wonder: maybe the real power move isn't waiting for someone to text first, maybe it's being secure enough to do it yourself.

Or maybe I'm just a hypocrite with an unsent message sitting in my drafts...