Why Do Adults Act Like Children

We expect adulthood to come with emotional control, responsibility, and maturity. So, when adults avoid difficult conversations, act violently, or refuse to admit when they’re wrong, it feels confusing and maybe even odd. If growing up is supposed to mean outgrowing childish behavior, why do so many adults still act like children? Studies in psychology say that “immaturity” might not be the immediate answer, but might actually be dependent on a

person’s upbringing and early experiences.

Image Source: Pinterest (original creator unknown).

Research on parenting styles supports this idea. Clinical and developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind found that children who are “immature” often had parents who were highly nurturing but low in control, meaning they received love but had few boundaries. On the other hand, the most “competent” children were raised with both love and structure. When children are constantly shielded from consequences or are overly catered to, they may struggle to develop and understand accountability and the regulation of emotions. These patterns can transfer over into adulthood. These patterns may get masked through our society-- due to the fact a person is often considered established or mature through external milestones, but emotional growth depends more on learned developmental skills rather than on age or status. 

In a lot of cases, adulthood doesn’t just reveal whether or not someone has grown older, but whether they have learned how to grow emotionally.