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  • Writer's pictureVanessa Saenz

you need to wallow

It's been noted that there is quite a bit of stress relief now that midterms are over. But it's also noted how that feeling may be coming back now that we’re choosing our classes for the next semester and how finals are coming up.

I've heard from my classmates and even from my friends and family that sometimes it’s been too much and they want a break from it all. And not just from their school life but in other forms like work life, personal relationships, and everyday life in general. And so with that said, there is one piece of advice I like to give to probably help us all feel better, which is that you need to wallow.

I used to not have a word for this type of feeling or routine until I watched Gilmore Girls, which is now one of my favorite shows. This drama series showed many ups and downs in life through a mom-daughter relationship.

At one point, the mom, Lorelai, tells her daughter, Rory, that she needs to wallow. This was said because she was going through her first breakup like nothing. Rory didn't know what that meant either and felt fine without it—until she didn't anymore and needed her mom's help. As the show continues and everyone's growing up, there are many other reasons, like school and work life, where we can see both Lorelai and Rory finding themselves wallowing when need be.

And going back to this idea, the moment the rejection, the breakup, the bad news, or the stress starts to happen, it is okay to cry, to scream, to shut the world out, to basically just take it in.

I advise you to have a moment, and it doesn't have to be planned, but to have a moment where you can lay in bed, in the bathtub, or even on the floor. To be as emotional as you can and to cry all you want

Or do the following:

  • listen to the most sad and depressing songs

  • eat the “unhealthy” or “cravings” you’ve been wanting

  • have a drama/sad movie marathon

During this time, it would just be you having a chance to be upset or stress-free, because you have the right to be if that is how you are feeling (and remember, your feelings are valid).

And so the thing about wallowing—one of the beautiful things I find about being human—is that we let ourselves feel all these emotions. We give ourselves the chance to be down, and sometimes that feeling can become comforting.

But one of the rules about wallowing is that you cannot stay there for too long or “forever”. After days, maybe weeks, maybe even hours, you need to pick yourself up. Not literally off the floor if that’s where you chose to be, but meaning getting yourself together now.

It won’t be easy, at least not at first, but I’m pretty sure during your moments of wallowing, which you can do multiple times if you choose to, you thought about other things to get done, whether that was in your personal or academic life. You now have things to look forward to and other more important things to think about for yourself, and that’s what matters.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to take a moment to let yourself feel a rollercoaster of emotions. It's also okay to ask for help, just as it is to be alone. Moving on isn’t linear. Again, whether that is in workplaces, academics, or personal relationships, keep in mind the moment will be over, and then there will be no need or time to wallow anymore because you know you’re going to be okay.

-- tune in for more stories from #lachurrosstories


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