Circlefield Mall: "Buzz"

Circlefield Mall, IL

Sellout – [12:14]

With her head in her hands, Lila sat behind the register. Drearily, she gazed around the room: the racks of graphic tees hung on black hangers and soaked in the overhead speaker’s melancholic music. Through her half closed eyelids and thick eyelashes, the moody lighting shone on the bracelets that dangled on her wrists and earrings that pierced her ears.

The store she worked at, Sellout, had no customers. She unfortunately had the morning shift when all the most interesting customers crawl out during the night shift. Despite running the store on her own, the small security dome installed overhead reminded her manager can be watching her every move, or on his phone.

With an itch, Lila wanted to bang her head in the black counter in front of her. She snatched her phone out of her pocket and began scrolling through her contacts. It was a lot shorter than it was a month ago as she deleted number after number of people she no longer talks to. Her high school diploma was a ticket out of high school with its peacocking students and grabbling teachers.

She came across a contact with a very familiar name. Familiar like the pattern of the ceiling, she felt compelled to hit call and wait for a response from Nora.

Ring... Ring... Ring...

Lila bit her lip harder with every ring. She wondered if her lips could be bruised. Being friends with Nora, she knows that’s probably not-

“Lila?” said a monotone voice.

“Oh, Nora! Didn’t know if you’d pick up, like you always talk about how busy you are.”

“Yeah, I’m studying for an exam, but its in a couple days so I do not care too much about it.” Nora chuckled.

Snickering, Lila says “You’ve always got that brain of yours. I don’t even know if you can even get something wrong. You’re so wise beyond your years.”

“I’ve been trying to get unwise lately.” Nora admitted. “Me and some friends from chem are going to a football game then house party later. Apparently there’s gonna be a lot of dancing, but looks like it’s mostly guys going.”

Lila grimaced. “Maybe you’ll pick up a guy or two.”

Nora snorted. “You know that’s not my style. I’m more of a nomad than a collector.”

“Aww, then what’s your most prized possession, dear nomad?”

“She’s waiting for me at home, dear wonderer.”

Lila pulled the phone from her ear as she shot her smile across the room. “Shut up, be normal.”

“I can’t help being real with you.” Nora’s smile was heard through the phone. “How’s home, anyway?”

“Beyond boring, everyone’s gone for college or working here. Some girl was trying to talk with me as I was waiting for the bus. Tell me why I saw her crying at the fountain the other day?”

“Damn, she was trying to friends with you and now you’re gossiping about her?” Nora tsked. “You’re a bad influence.”

“I’m still trying to move on from what I learned from you.” Eyeing the ceiling camera, Lila says “They installed a camera after they found out about you using my discount.”

“God forbid they get money from me, like.” Nora groaned. “Sellout sells such low quality shirts, I should be using them as bathroom trash bags.”

Lila eyed the clearance rack. “I think you should propose that idea to the CEO some day.”

“He would hire me for their sales department on the spot. I could be your superior one day.”

“HR would be hearing a lot from us.” Nora and Lila laughed. Even through the phone signal’s delay, they synchronized in crackles.

A buzz was heard from the phone speaker. “Hang on, they’re texting me about the party.”

Lila scoffed as the line went cold. She her head droned from one side of the empty husk of a store to the other side. The gimmicky novelty mugs and dust-collecting tees sat in silence. The glass door leaked a beam of light that got intercepted by the mindless customers outside. She felt her stomach knot at the droning sound of it all.

“Ugh, they wanna start early, I gotta hang up right now.”

Lila snapped back her attention to the phone. “No yeah, for sure. I get it.”

“I will text you later about it. I doubt it’d be much to text home but y’know...”

“Can’t wait, got nothing better to do.”

"Bye-bye Li-Li.” Nora hung up as the sweatshirts hanging on racks around Lila absorbed the last words of Nora’s voice. Glancing at the ceiling camera, she wanted to through her phone to crack the round black obelisk as if that would help anything.

Sellout – [3:56]

“That’ll be $33.57.” Lila said to the customer. The glazed look in her eye was chiseled in her face.

“Hm, oh my, I just don’t know,” the customer said. “Is there another color I can get?”

“What kinda color you want?” Lila blinked, confused. She looked at the shirt in the bag. ‘Ball of Fury’ in big text surrounded a picture of a cutesy kitten. Lila was glad it was just a drawing since its eyes were so big, its brain wouldn’t have room to grow. “Black isn’t edgy enough?”

“Exactly, I want this shirt to make me look more emo.”

Lila blinked again. “Let me look for another in the back.”

Lila took the shirt and shuffled between the stuffed racks to the back wall with a ‘employees only’ door. She opened it and saw a metal empty shelf, two cardboard boxes, and a chair on the concrete floors. She looked up at the buzzing fluorescent light and screamed so loud to drown out the sound of the buzz.

She knew it was a soundproof room since she tested it out at the beginning of the summer with her phone’s microphone. A little space away from customers, it became a refuge for her. Throwing the shirt on the floor, she reached into one of the cardboard boxes and found a can of soda she keeps for when stress gets to her, which has been causing her to buy a can every shift.

Scraping her nail under the tab and popped it open. She took a strong swig as the corn syrup got in her stomach and to her head. A bit of soda dripped down her chin. The little miracle from the vending machine made her feel the sweetness of a day-off, of being anywhere but here.

Here, however, she was still at work as she drank the last few sips. Her fingers brushed through the back of her hair as she took a few deep breaths to prepare to leave the little room. Leaning against the door, she took the empty soda can and wiggled the tab off: it ended up being a semicircle. Conflicted over the result, she crushed the can of her easiness. She picked up the now dusty shirt from the floor and left the room.

Walking to the counter, Lila says “You got lucky, we got an extra-black version of it in the veryyy back. Must've been there for a while by the looks of it!” Feigning a smile, Lila handed a shirt to the customer.

“Oh my god this is perfect! You accept cash, right?”

Sellout - [4:57]

Fuming, she stared at the camera. Why would they have this installed, she thought, it’s not like I'm a criminal. The discount was only 10% afterall, that’s only enough to knock off tax. If I really was a theif, I would’ve left the store with a rolling rack of shirts! Mugs, shot glasses, those ridiculous earrings we have, the keychains by the register. I would never do that, because this store is cheap! They can’t even have two people running this place cause it’s so-

Her phone buzzed. She reached for it so fast, she didn’t even realized it buzzed until it was in her hands.

Just now Nora D.: This game is so bogus :\

The notification blew up her iris with a green speech bubble. Lila began typing.

Sent Lila A.: Its football, what did u expect?

Lila cocked her head as she awaited a reply.

Nora D.: A game ig... something fun...

Lila A.: since when r u interested in football

Nora D.: Since it helped me be invited to parties lol

Lila A.: lol

Nora D.: How’s the shift?

Lila A.: alr lol

Lila A.: almost over in a bit

Nora D.: That’s good

Lila A.: just waiting on the night guy

Lila A.: hes taking FOREVER

Nora D.: Lol

Nora D.: What do you got planned after?

Lila A.: me, chips, and a movie

Lila A.: im thinking something like horror tn

Lila A.: helps take the edge off

She felt her heart beat rest again. Staring at her phone, she eagerly awaited the next text.

Nora D.: The team landed a touchdown!!! :D

Lila A.: lets goo

She looked at the emoticon and imagined Nora making that face. Her round face with a smile across her stoic face. The whites of her eyes disappear if she’s really happy around Lila. Lila remembers that and wonders if she’s making that face right now with the strangers Nora’s been hanging out with.

Lila dug her phone into her pocket. It was so silent in the store, she could hear a needle drop. Testing that theory, she picked up an earring from the jewelry display and dropped it to the floor. She heard it. Looking out to the shadows of the customers outside, she wondered if they heard it too.

Her phone buzzed.

Just now Nora D.: This guy will not stop talking to me.

Lila flipped open her phone

Lila A.: give him a chance why dont u

Nora D.: Dude will not stop trying to talk to me.

Nora D.: Horrible advice :(

Lila A.: hes a keeper

Nora D.: Lol

Nora D.: He’s already part of my friend group, don’t wanna risk it

Lila A.: tell him ur focusing on school or smthng

Nora D.: I will

Nora D.: I really cannot date rn, too busy

Lila A.: ik

Lila exhaled.

Nora D. Have you met anyone recently?

She scoffed.

Lila A.: if i started dating rn id get in a lot of trouble tbh

Nora D.: I believe you :P

Lila A.: no one around heres cool anyway

Lila A.: so boringgg

Nora D.: I’m sure there’s someone in Circlefield for you

Nora D.: I can set you up with a friend ;)

Lila. A.: no

Nora D.: fair enough

Lila began typing “im just waiting for u to come back”. She reread the message, then deleted it.

Lila A.: its wtvr

Nora D.: Ok ms. cool girl lol

Lila stuffed her phone in her pocket. She began to feel her stare become aimless. Her shoulders relaxed to nothing. Her head felt light. Not like a sugar rush kind of light, but as if her brain has finally been removed. The black shades of the merchandise and the shadows eclipsed the little light in her vision. Out of her body, she didn’t want to go be with Nora at the football game, or at home with some B movie, or any of the other places she imagined would be better than the store. She just imagined not being here at all.

A flush of light interrupted her thoughts.

“Hey Lila.”

“Oh thank god, Jeremy.”

Jeremy stood in the doorway with a lemonade in his hand. “You good?”

“Yeah sure,” she said as she rushed from behind the counter.

“Alrighty then.” Jeremy studied Lila’s scrambling for the exit.

“It’s been slow, so don’t get too bored. See ya later, Jerm.” She held the door wide open as the light flashed her face. She heard the overhead manufactured pop song on theneverending speakers. Sneakers and shoes squeaked on the floor.

“Wait! Lila!”

Lila snapped her head to Jeremy. “What, Jerm.”

“The manager called me. He wants to have a private chat with you.”

“About what?”

“I dunno.”

Lila glanced at the security camera. “Actually. I really don’t care.”