Past the Static (Scene 6)
Written by Niomi Dylan Sass
Scene Six: What Else Can Go Wrong
The emergency lights flicker back on. Dylan is trying to get the radio to restart, but is ultimately unsuccessful. He sparks a cigarette and starts rummaging around the area. In the corner of the room, he spots a gas can. Upon picking it up, he feels it’s empty. A key appears to be hidden underneath it. He starts to gaze around the room looking for a lock. He sits back down at the desk to devise a plan. He goes to open up the desk drawer to put out his cigarette, it’s locked. He tried the key he found which was the perfect match.
91.1
That was easy.
Inside it is two flares and a long-range battery powered walk talkie. He turns it on to the first channel while stuffing the flares into his bag with the gas can.
91.1 (CON’T)
Pssssst. Madam psychic?
A familiar voice answers, 95.4.
CHANNEL ONE
Madam who? Why is everyone’s first thought to gender someone?
91.1
Wait, I think I know you. You wouldn’t happen to use they/them pronouns?
CHANNEL ONE
No one has ever guessed that right away, thank you, I do actually.
91.1
We spoke earlier. I called from 91.1 Emergency Broadcast Station. I misgendered you on accident and I’m so sorry—
CHANNEL ONE
Ohhhh, the punk mouth stoner has the gall to find my travel channel.
91.1
It truly was an accident. I’m part of the community and wouldn’t purposefully do that to anyone. I was so freaked out because I saw my husband get run down by a horde.
CHANNEL ONE
So you think since you're gay, I’m just supposed to give you a pass?
91.1
No. I want you to accept my apology and know that I learned from my mistake. The poet laureate Hannah Montana once said “Everybody makes mistakes,” but I believe it’s how you choose to reconcile them; to make sure it doesn’t happen again. And I swear to you, I’ll be sure to never assume someone’s gender again, even if the world has gone to shit.
CHANNEL ONE
A Hannah Montana reference. That passes my gay test. I suppose you do sound sincere enough. I accept your apology.
91.1
Thank you, truly. Now, I’m trying to fix another goddamn mistake I made recently. I thought my husband got eaten by the dead, instead, he was captured.
CHANNEL ONE
Oh, no. The cannonball people got him, didn’t they?
91.1
Yes.
CHANNEL ONE
I don’t want no bad blood, but I’m not trying to get mixed up in the middle of those people eating pricks.
91.1
It’s okay, I wasn’t planning on asking for your help with that. I was just trying to get a hold of the person from 101.01. Do you by chance know if that station has a travel channel like you do?
CHANNEL ONE
Hmm. I can’t remember ever tuning to that channel and getting past the static. I’m sorry, I’ve had no contact with anyone from that station.
91.1
Great…Wait, you have the courier service, right? Can you help me find some gas? The station's backup generator ran out and I need to get a hold of the station 101.01. The person running it is a psychic and she said she knew how I could save my husband.
CHANNEL ONE
A psychic? Now that seems a tad far fetched, are you really going to fall for that bit?
91.1
I know it sounds crazy, but dead people are coming back to life and ripping apart the very existence of humanity. If that could happen, I think anything is possible. Plus, she had way too much accurate information for it to be a coincidence. I believe her.
CHANNEL ONE
That is your prerogative partner. I know where you can get some gas but it’ll cost you. Got anything to trade?
91.1
Uh, I have two flares, a crowbar, and a handgun.
CHANNEL ONE
We like to try to help however we can. With that being said, we don’t allow people to trade their weapons. That could wind up being the only protection that helps them see tomorrow. And right now? That seems to be the only thing left that’s worth fighting for. You don’t have anything else, like jewelry?
Dylan stares intently at his wedding ring.
91.1
I don’t…I’m sorry.
CHANNEL ONE
You know, we could use another long-range walkie for our field team.
91.1
What if I can’t get the power back on? This is my only way of communicating safely with people in the outside world.
CHANNEL ONE
If it's gas you need, then that’s my price.
91.1
(Beat) Deal.
CHANNEL ONE
M’kay. Here’s what we're going to do. You said you were at the Emergency Station? That’s not too far from the old slaughterhouse.
91.1
Are you sure there isn’t like a Wendy’s I can investigate?
CHANNEL ONE
I don’t think that’s the kind of gas you’re looking for. The place I’m talking about is completely deserted. Before all hell broke loose in America, farmers were instructed to eliminate their livestock. The CDC knew that the virus originated from diseased filled mosquitos that inhabited farms. They thought killing the animals would help contain the pathogen from spreading quicker, but some meat got distributed when it shouldn’t have. Then, bam, the end of the f*cking world.
91.1
I can’t believe that’s how it went down. People were so consumed with making money that their greed blinded their judgment. How’d you even find that out?
CHANNEL ONE
Mmhmm. After all the network towers got disconnected from the grid, the radio channels were the only way of communicating. Before your station looped their automated final report, I had made friends with the broadcaster there. Really nice guy. When you have nothing to do or no one to talk to in the middle of the night, it’s easy to connect with another level-headed human. We became close, quick. All I ever asked for in return was to let me in on the information they were getting. That was our deal: supply locations for classified information. The few people who were stationed there went on a supply run, minus him. The group ended up running into the cannibals. They radioed back to him at the station for help before their travel walkie went dead. That was the last time I heard the broadcaster. I will admit that I sent them on their expedition because of a possible location that had medicine. (Beat) I had no idea that those flesh eating f*cks were gonna be at that spot.
91.1
Which flesh eating f*cks?
CHANNEL ONE
Shit, they’re practically the same, but the ones that still knew right from wrong and chose to do the most disgustingly horrid thing another person could do. I mean people killed people all the time, f*cking sad, but true. That people eating though? That’s some next level deranged ass behavior.
91.1
How am I to be sure that the cannibals won’t be waiting for me at the slaughterhouse?
CHANNEL ONE
I can’t promise you that, but, now stay with me here…If they eat people, I don’t think they’d bother looking into any locations with livestock. Just a hunch. Plus, queer people have always been a family. I wouldn’t steer you in the wrong direction. If I was to try and put you in danger, I would just tell you to go about 2 miles north from your location where the Quick Stop is. Now, that’s the obvious choice where everyone would think to go, and a spot where you’re more likely to run into someone or something.
91.1
I’m choosing to trust you, please don’t let me down. The slaughterhouse it is.
CHANNEL ONE
That is a smart move on you, cousin. I’m sure there’s gas in most of their equipment that you can siphon. I do feel obliged to warn you about the smell, it is—
91.1
I, I don’t want to know. So, where’s this place at?
CHANNEL ONE
Not more than about an hour's walk west. You’re gonna take the side road next to the highway and follow the signs heading towards Indiana. Once you get to Exit 13 you’ll see the slaughterhouse, if you don’t already smell it. The corn crops on the side road have been long overgrown, making it easier to move without being watched. But it’s late, you have to move quietly, quickly, and most important of all, carefully. One wrong move and you might not be able to see daylight again.
91.1
Seeing Sammie again is worth fighting every kind of evilness on Earth. When I moved out here for a teaching job at a private school, I was so awkward. I couldn’t get along with any of the teachers for two years. I got along with the kids, sure, but you can’t really vent about your personal life with them. To me, that’s just weird. Being in a new state, far from my few friends and family members I had; mixed with what felt like no one to talk to—that was a whole new kind of loneliness. Then I went to urgent care one day after falling off my motorcycle, and there he was. My savior. The one person, the one f*cking person who actually gave a rat’s ass about me…I just left him. I thought there was nothing I could do. Now that I know he’s alive, I’m going to stop at nothing to get him back!
CHANNEL ONE
That’s what I like to hear, cousin!
91.1
Bet! Is there a specific place you want me to leave the walkie at?
CHANNEL ONE
Keep it.
91.1
What, why?
CHANNEL ONE
I don’t get many queer people coming through these channels. Actually, you’re the first. Let’s just say you started to grow on me, like a rash they haven’t invented an ointment for yet. You’re gonna need that talkie, just in case you get into some shit, don’t hesitate to tune into my channel for help. I got you, cousin.
91.1
Just know if I could give you a fist bump right now, I totally would, cousin.
CHANNEL ONE
Of course you would.
91.1
Thank you.
CHANNEL ONE
Now, get going dingus! I have to keep the channel open, I still have a business to run. Be safe! Over, and out.
Static. Dylan shuts the walkie off.
91.1
Okay, west to Indiana, grassy side road, exit 13, slaughterhouse. Sounds easy enough.
He goes to check how many rounds he has: 6. He puts on his bag, hides his gun in the back of the waistline of his jeans, kisses his ring.
91.1(CON’T)
Hang on, Sammie. I’m coming for you my love.
Blackout.
(END OF ACT I)
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