The Agitating Ghost from the Residence in Which I Reside

(Photo from wix.com - Ghostly Figure Scene)

There isn’t a proper way to even begin. This rat of a spirit won’t leave my family and me alone, despite our wishes. I swear, there have been countless times when minor inconveniences make themselves known, and we always know the root of the issue. The ghost’s activities are equivalent to having a roommate who is the very embodiment of the word “inconsiderate,” and I would like to list a few of them here.

Let’s start with a very common occurrence that you might’ve experienced: the random loss of laundry. Pretty lame to even mention, but let me tell you, this hits so hard you can’t even fathom it. I once owned a brown baggy shirt with a couple of white lizards on the back. Coolest non-black shirt on the entire planet. I only got to wear it a few times, most notably during an Earth, Wind & Fire tribute band concert, before I LOST IT. It’s already been a year since this tragedy struck, and I still haven’t been able to find it anywhere in the house. So, obviously, it’s that damned ghost flying around, haunting my household, wearing my sick-as-heck shirt.

Here’s a good one: the uncleaned coffee machine. Obviously, we all know we’re supposed to take the grinds out after making coffee, it’s part of the whole cleaning process. HOWEVER, every now and then, there will still be grinds left in the puck of the machine by the time my father makes his afternoon coffee. He’ll ask all of us who forgot to clean it, and we’ll all say, “Wasn’t me,” before going about our day.

Now, of course, there’s always the chance that somebody is pulling a Shaggy and saying that even though they’re the one who did it. But I’m a critical thinker with a functioning noggin. It’s the ghost, plain and simple.

This dude isn’t even restricted to the house, as he acts like he’s an actual member of the family and tags along with us on trips. We went to Wisconsin during Thanksgiving break, and everything was going swimmingly. I was lying down, flipping through TV channels, looking for anything even mildly interesting to watch. I had my glasses off while trying to watch Paw Patrol when, all of a sudden, I heard a steady creaking sound. I put my glasses back on and stared at the semi-open closet across from me, and the creaking stopped instantly. I SWEAR that closet door was closed when I entered the room. I guess the dude was just trying to watch TV with me when I caught him.

He’s evil, a demon, and I’d gladly throw him into a wood chipper if I were ever given the chance. He’s a permanent stain on this place, and all I can do is hope he doesn’t follow me in the future.