Call it a Kink
- Into the Bush
- 3 days ago
- 3 min read
I've noticed an influx of people interested in 'Kink,' and I wondered how this shift began. As someone who's dabbled in the kink world, I can recall the times in which someone saying they liked light choking or sucking on toes was considered scandalous or strange. Kinks are a sexual act, an attraction, or a fantasy that is considered unconventional. This week, we're gonna get kinky by discussing media related to kink, where you can get some educational experiences, and how to have conversations with your partner on kinks you want to explore.
As for media, 'Fifty Shades of Grey' is probably what comes to most people's mind when they think of kink. I haven't seen the movies in quite some time (cause they suck and their chemistry is poor), but I did read the books in high school and one of the most frustrating things to me was that Grey is always crossing boundaries, stalks her, comes from places of jealousy and possession, and is closed off emotionally. When exploring kink, one of the most important things are open communication, enthusiastic consent, and rules. Many kinks can be physically and mentally laborious, and you can see glimpses of this in the movie.
One of my favorites that was shown to me in the past year is called 'Secretary', it stars Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader. The movie depicts a young woman's first experiences with kink, and it helps her to discover parts of herself and to break patterns related to self-harm. The dedication that they build for each other, even despite fears of intimacy have a deep allure and you can't look away. I found the movie displays kink in a way that is closer to the explorative aspect that can come with it. The pair also share a palpable chemistry that keeps you on your toes and left me rooting for their relationship. As someone who's struggled with self-harm at different parts of my life, I felt a kinship to Gyllenhaal's character.
Some other movies that display kink that I've watched, or heard good things about are 'Pillion', 'Crash' (1996), 'Videodrome', 'Nymphomaniac' and 'The Piano Teacher'.
When thinking about educational experiences, one of the staples of Chicagoland is The Leather Archives and Museum located on the Northside of Chicago. They're currently renovating, but they host lots of events to either meet people in the Kink community, educational programs on how to practice safely or learn some history. The Gerber Hart Library and Archive which is nearby also hosts events where businesses and writers in the Kink world. Early to Bed is an adult store that frequently hosts events like crafts and educational events.
If you want to talk to your partner(s) about exploring kink, the best thing to start with is having a clear idea of what you're interested and to start small. You can sit down together and let them know what you're feeling and see their thoughts. You can give examples of things to do together, what feeling you want to have, where/how you'd like to be touched, and ease into it. Check in often and don't be shy about specifics. Most people want to have an enjoyable and fulfilling experience with a partner and many people can be service oriented in that way. Something fun you could do together is take the BDSM test and compare results. https://bdsmtest.org/
With kink, there's always the chance that your partner just isn't into it and that's okay. What isn't okay is shaming, belittling, pressuring, or forcing. Perhaps you can discuss seeking that exploration elsewhere, or maybe you can address it again at a later date after both of you have had time and space to think on it. I will say that honesty is important, and there's no shame in wanting to try something new. There's also no shame in giving it a go and deciding that you like the fantasy more than the reality.
Be safe, have fun, and keep an open mind!
Have you taken the BDSM Test??
Yes
No
I will
I'm not interested
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