letting go

My yoga instructor recently asked us 

​​What in your life do you feel called to surrender or let go of? When is surrender a better option than pushing through?

And that got me pretty good. 

Letting go of hurt, the past, people, and emotions can take so long until it does not affect you anymore, and it is so uncomfortable.

It feels like I am wearing a pair of pants that no longer fit me anymore. I am uncomfortable in these pants, but I have no other ones to wear, so I am stuck with these. 

How can I grow and move on if I still feel remnants of anger and sadness about this person? Does letting go only work if you are emotionally ready? What is emotionally ready even look like? Is letting go packing all the memories and momentos into a box? Do I keep the box? That's probably not a good idea. I kind of want to keep the box. Does that mean I am not ready? 

Things get better with time. I hate that. I want things to get better now. I hate waiting. I am uncomfortable waiting. I learn a lot of things waiting though. That is a good thing about waiting. You have plenty of time to sit with your thoughts. I guess waiting is pretty good. 

"Anger is the punishment we give ourselves for someone else's mistake," Gautama Buddha

I keep feeling like I am letting go, but it keeps comes back to me. I might still be angry. Some days are good, then some days something so small as a picture popping up in my camera roll takes me back to square one. I feel everything again. All my feelings come back. When will this cycle end is something I always think about.

My grandma would tell me I have to forgive fully first in order to let go completely. My goodness, why is that sohard? She is right, though, that might be why it still returns. You have to accept it fully and send it back out with forgiveness. It opens up space, space for new things, experiences, and people. We all deserve that. 

Letting go is choosing to not ruminate on all the things that happened despite all the crazy negative feelings you have. It is uncomfortable, but it must be done. You have to surrender all those feelings, you have to truly feel it and understand it. To dwell on those big feelings is not putting yourself first, and you deserve to put yourself and your well-being first. Accept the situation or feelings it brought, and forgive in order for it not to be so heavy on your heart anymore. Forgiving is where these strong emotions will not feel as strong anymore. You will feel weights lifted from your ankles. Take your power back and stop waiting for things to feel better without any action on your part. The power to your emotional well being is always in your hands.

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“Letting go is like the sudden cessation of an inner pressure or the dropping of a weight. It is accompanied by a sudden feeling of relief and lightness, with an increased happiness and freedom. It is an actual mechanism of the mind, and everyone has experienced it on occasion.” David Hawkins

-j

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