Memories Kind Of Suck - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
- edgarm974
- 3 hours ago
- 6 min read
Hello everybody, welcome to the second post for Beyond Myself. Hope you've all been well, given how hectic life has been over the past couple of weeks. Between the world at large and just normal college stuff, it's all a bit much. Also, recently I created a IG page for this blog (really late, ik), but it's "beyondmyselfblog", give it a follow if you want to be updated here and there about what I'm writing. Anyways, leaving all the shameless self-plugging behind, let's get into the nitty-gritty
I initially found this film as a young child just scrolling through what DVDs we had, and even back then, I loved it and it has become a personal favorite of mine. I watch it on an annual basis if I can, and I think it has so much to say. Also, talking about this movie, there will likely be some spoilers, so watch out.
Released in 2004 and directed by Michael Gondry, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind follows Joel, played by Jim Carrey, and Clementine, played by Kate Winslet (one of my personal favorite actresses). After a very heartbreaking breakup, Joel learns that Clementine underwent a medical procedure with a lowkey sketchy "company" to erase all memories of their previous relationship from her mind. Being kind of toxic, Joel decides to go through the same operation with the company Lacuna Inc., and slowly forgets the woman that he loved. This film is a perfect mix of science fiction, romance, and comedy, all put together as we watch a failed (failing?) relationship, and with a cast equally as messed up.
As the procedure begins, Joel is forced to relive his relationship with Clementine. Some memories are awkward, some are cute and endearing, and some are extremely painful. But haven't we all had instances like this in any relationship we've ever had? This process isn't just removing key parts of their relationship; it erases Clementine's existence in Joel's mind, and vice versa. The fights, the laughter, conversations, and all the cute moments, all of the moments that made the relationship special, start to fade away all in one.
At the same time, the movie shows what is happening outside Joel's mind: the employees of Lacuna Incorporated. Patrick, Stan, Mary, and the founder, Dr. Mierzwiak, carry out the procedure as part of a routine. There is an interesting subplot with the workers as well. Stan wants to be with Mary, and we watch Stan try to rizz Mary as an unconscious Joel is in the same room. Mary consistently has the hots for Dr. Mierzwiak, and Patrick even uses Clementine's erased memories to build a relationship with her, a patient, using the phrases or memories all too familiar with her but with a Patrick reskin instead of Joel. Ignoring the moral issues of what Patrick is doing, the working force of this movie has something to say about their memories alongside the main plot of Joel and Clementine.
During the operation, Joel begins to see that he doesn't want to give up his memories. Despite the toxicity and the hurt Joel feels, he still sees the value of what the relationship meant when it existed. Joel starts to hide Clementine in unrelated memories from his life in an attempt to hold onto whatever he can of Clementine. This is where the movie gets kinda trippy, and I wouldn't be shocked if the dream sequences lost most of the audience. We follow Joel's memories throughout his life, some are of Clementine and some are of really random things, and often the two intersect. This part I don't wish to spoil, as it's something you should experience for yourself really.
Once more, outside of Joel's mind, the subplot with Mary and Dr. Mierzwiak unfolds. Mary idolizes Dr. Mierzwiak and his work; she obsesses over the "beautiful" work he does and the link between love and memory. That changes when she discovers that she had previously undergone the same memory erasing procedure she now performs after having an affair with Mr. Mierzwiak, who was married then and now. The relationship was erased from her mind long ago, yet Mary still felt a desire to be with her superior, and upon discovering the truth, her mindset on their work flips completely. Her response is a critical moment in the film. She decides to mail every Lacuna patient ever the records of the memories the company had ever erased. She forces everyone to confront those memories once more, rather than living in their ignorant bliss. A small act of rebellion, but one with huge moral implications.
Leading back to Joel and Clementine, the two actually met again in the very beginning of the film, but they're both completely unaware of their history, as they've both been wiped at that point. Through the film, we see that they're sort of reconnecting, like complete strangers, which they are and aren't. They slowly get closer and closer to a relationship until they receive their tapes and listen to them. Listening to them is awkward and painful as they sit in a car together. Each tape is just a laundry list of complaints and gripes about the other person and what led to their breakup pre mind wipe. It's really awkward, but it's also really brutal and honest.
What makes the ending so interesting is that neither of them walks away.
In a really heartbreaking and iconic scene, the two discuss the doomed status of a potential relationship post mind wipe. They know the relationship failed once, and the film doesn't frame it as a perfect second chance that'll be magically good. For instance, Joel says, "I can't see anything that I don't like about you," and Clementine responds with, "But you will. You will think of things." And yes, I did cry at this part, and so should you, honestly. The film makes it perfectly clear that this is likely to end no better, yet the two still decide to try once more.
This choice feels like the film's real message. The point isn't that relationships are perfect or that heartbreak can be avoided. Memories will always be there, but be glad they even exist; the experience itself is what makes it important. All we are is the amalgamation of our memories, and running from those takes away core parts of ourselves.
Honestly, one of the things that made this film stick with me, especially in recent years, was sharing it with someone else. I recommended this film to someone I really care about a while ago, and we later talked about all the different things we took away from the movie. It wasn't anything grand, just a normal conversation about a film, but it ended up meaning a lot more to me than I expected. This moment, funnily enough, created my own memories and connected this film to my real life, beyond just enjoying it.
Maybe that's the reason this movie hits as hard as it does for me. Joel spends so much time trying to hold onto the smallest bits of Clementine, and it makes you realize how much is really in the smallest moments we share with others. Sharing something you like with someone and hoping they might like it too. That kind of thing becomes a grand memory without you even noticing. That part of the film feels the realest to me. The quiet realization that certain moments only feel important once they've already happened. That conversation about the movie probably means so much more to me than to her, and that's fine. But it still became a memory of mine that lingers a little longer than the others.
I sometimes wonder if I'd ever get this operation, assuming it's real. To forget that person and ignore the turmoil and anguish you experienced or will experience in the future, all of the uncertainties and the questions don't matter if I don't even remember right? But I know I never would. As much as some of those memories suck, they mean too much to me, and forgetting them means closing the door on making new ones, which I wish to do as much as I can with them.
If the movie is about anything, it's probably about that feeling. The quiet realization that even the smallest moments with the right person can become something you'd never really want to erase. And sometimes, holding on is the only way to stay true to yourself while leaving space for what may or may not come.
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