The first book to make me feel something
I didn’t always love reading as much as I do now. As a kid, I hated it. I think it was because I was learning English at the time, and books frustrated me with their big words. I don’t really remember what grade I was in or who my teacher was when I first read a book I liked. All I remember was the book itself and my struggles at the time.
The book I’m talking about is Wonder by R. J. Palacio. It was one of the books I had to read that year. I remember being so engrossed in it. No book before this had ever captured my attention like that one. My elementary school was definitely on the poorer side, so I didn’t get my own copy. I had to share with other kids in different classes. Because I shared a copy, I couldn’t take it home or write in it. I would always be the first one to grab my copy and the last one to turn it in. I wrote all my little notes about the story, thoughts, and feelings on sticky notes and left them between the pages, hoping whoever I shared the book with felt the same way I did.
Wonder is a children’s book about a boy named Auggie who was born with severe facial differences. Auggie is attending a mainstream school for the first time. The story follows him– and some other people– as he faces bullies and learns about friendship. But it wasn’t this kid who made me feel so connected to the book. Of course, I empathized with him and understood what the book was trying to teach us about bullying, but I just didn’t relate to Auggie. The character that made me fall in love with this book was his older sister, Via. This was the first time, in any piece of media, that I looked at a character and saw myself in them. She was the one I related to, and she’ll always have a special place in my heart.
In her chapters, Via expresses that she feels invisible in her family. The parents tended to really focus on Auggie. Auggie’s genetic condition led to him having to undergo multiple surgeries, and his parents had to be very attentive to him. Because of this, Via grew up to be very independent; she learned how to take care of herself and not ask for any help. She feels this sort of isolation from the family. While she understands why her family has to pay extra attention to her brother, she still feels hurt. She wants her parents to see that she was struggling with something too. I related to this a lot. My brother didn’t have any sort of condition or anything, but my parents paid more attention to him. Like Via, I was an independent child. I did most things by myself. I didn’t need to be reminded about my routine or homework; I got good grades and stayed out of trouble. I was the “easy” child, and I think because of that, my parents thought they didn’t need to pay as much attention to me as they did my brother– who was the “hard” kid. There were times when I would go through things that I could have really used adult guidance for. My first period, a fight between friends, struggling with schoolwork, feelings of insecurity, and anxiety. There were times when I wished my parents would stop looking at my brother and ask me how I was doing and help me with my problems. I felt that same invisible feeling that Via felt, and I really connected with her because of that.
“I wonder how many nights she's stood outside his door. And I wonder if she's ever stood outside my door like that.” – Via's internal reflection (Wonder)
I didn’t just relate to Via because of her struggles inside her family, but also because of her struggles with her friends. Via is starting high school, and she’s hoping to have a clean slate, to not be seen as the girl with the “weird” brother. However, she struggles to create a space for herself in her school, which is made harder when her best friend suddenly freezes her out. I related to the loneliness that Via felt at school. At the time, I lost my friends. I'm not quite sure why; maybe I wasn’t cool enough anymore. There was a small period of time when I struggled to find friends again. During this time, I was reading Wonder. Via’s feelings and reflection on her situation made me feel seen. It made me feel better about my situation because I knew that it wasn’t gonna stay like that forever. It made me feel hopeful that I would rekindle my past friendships or find new friends, and I did.
Via’s character made younger, elementary school me feel seen for the first time; she made me feel not alone, and she helped me better understand the feelings I was feeling for the first time. Reflecting on how this book made me feel when I was younger really shows why books are so important for kids. Not only does it help with their education, but it helps their emotional intelligence. Through stories, kids can see their own experiences reflected in book characters, while also exploring different kinds of perspectives. They also help kids manage big emotions; they help them recognize their emotions.
I’m glad I was assigned this book in elementary school; without it, I don’t think I would be the reader that I am now. Also, the movie was really good and made me relate to Via even more.
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