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Olivia Cisneros

Things to Do Instead of Your Homework


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I would like to consider myself a master at doing anything other than what I am supposed to be doing. And although the end of the semester is approaching, and we all have a lot of work to do, no one wants to do it. At least I know I don't. Why get it done ahead of time when you can procrastinate, and finally feel something, a rush of panic and then relief, when you turn it in 5 minutes before it's due? I know, tempting. And so, being the generous and gracious person I am, I am sharing with you my favorite things to do to avoid my responsibilities.

  • Eat and watch tv

  • Spend the money that you should be saving for rent and groceries

  • Doom scroll on your phone

  • Solve a Rubix cube

    • You've never been able to succeed before, but maybe this time will be different

  • Look at funny memes in an attempt to escape the dread

  • Pick up a new hobby, preferably something intricate and time consuming, like wood whittling

  • Think about all the things you should be doing instead until you work yourself into such a panic you feel like your brain is going to split in two

  • Remind yourself that it's just one assignment, and it won't really matter in the grand scheme of things if you get points deducted for turning it in late

  • Masturbate

  • Stare at the wall

    • Bonus points if you dissociate!

  • Sleep to silence your thoughts

  • Literally anything else (just not your homework)


And remember, your best work is always done when the adrenaline is pumping and you have less time than necessary to complete. So, thank me now and do your homework later!

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