What I've Learned From My Older Brother

Photo Cred: Google

My older brother and I are separated by exactly one year and eight days. A gap that has made us so close, it rarely ever feels like one. Since we were both born in August, we ended up in the same grade, so I have spent a lot of time with this guy. Maybe too much. Definitely enough to have opinions

I am forever grateful for having a sibling. Growing up with siblings is like having a built-in best friend who, at times, can be your greatest rival. One moment, we’re laughing so hard I can't breathe, tears are starting to form, and the next, I think he is the most irritating person ever to exist. But somehow, it really is these moments that taught me the most.

Take sharing, for example, a skill siblings are basically forced to master. Not just obvious things, like food or games, but space, attention, and responsibilities. It's a quiet, constant lesson, and one that follows you around in everything you do. Though I will admit, my brother is still one of those people that I will argue with over sharing something small. And honestly, some of those moments are among my favorites.

We've always been good at sharing and making space for each other, even if there isn't much to work with. Kind of a “making it work” situation. Whether it's squeezing onto one side of the couch, balancing on opposite edges of a chair, or years ago, both trying to fit onto our mom's lap. We've always found a way. It may not be comfortable, but there's something comforting about knowing someone will save you a seat, even if it's only half of one. That said, sharing hasn't always gone smoothly, and there have definitely been times when grabbing the wrong item felt like I had to fight for my own survival. 

Photo Cred: My brother and I!

Another thing I didn't fully realize until later was how much of our humor we shared. My brother can make me laugh as no one else can, and I like to think I return the favor. When we are together, the laughter feels effortless and genuine, as if we are speaking a language that only we know. Siblings also have a way of teasing you unlike anyone else, and while it's so, so annoying, it's also weirdly character-building. I feel it has helped me gain the skill of not taking myself so seriously and of laughing at myself.

A lot of my favorite memories come from our many inside jokes. Moments that seem pretty small when they are happening, at the dinner table, car rides, passing moments. I always sit by my brother at dinner, and while he can definitely be annoying with how much he likes to touch my stuff, these moments have produced some of my favorite memories. Sometimes it feels like we are in our own bubble, making jokes about everyone else at the table or bringing everyone into our little humor.

My brother also taught me how to lose. Dramatic? Maybe. True? Sadly. My brother loves video games, and unfortunately, he's good at them. Growing up, that combination didn't work in my favor too often. But over time, I feel that I learned to enjoy the process rather than the outcome. And in other areas of my life, that turned into something else entirely, a quiet competitiveness, or a drive to improve. 

That said, I didn't always lose. I'll always stand by the fact that I dominated him in Just Dance, and I am the reigning champion of Mario Party. History will never forget.

Competition, of course, brings conflict. We're close, but we're not perfect. We've had our fair share of arguments and not talking to each other. Those moments aren't always something I want to look back on, but they've taught me something just as important as winning or losing-- how to forgive. No matter what, we have always found our way back to our close relationship. That kind of unconditional bond is rare and very important to me.

Looking back, I see how much of who I am was shaped by growing up alongside him. We are different in many ways; we like different things, watch different shows, and have our own separate worlds, but we share a similar foundation. I may not relate to the whole “following in your older siblings' footsteps” experience, but I got something just as meaningful, a constant. Someone beside me went through it all.

Photo Cred: My brother and I on the first day of 1st grade

This year was the first time since preschool that I had to walk into school without him right by my side. It honestly made me a little nostalgic; it was exciting but quieter. It made me realize how much I had gotten used to those everyday moments, how much of my life had been built with that shared presence.

I think that's why I love siblings so much. Not just my own, but the idea of them. I love hearing people's stories, seeing the similarities, noticing the little pieces they carry of each other. Even when siblings are completely different, you can typically find something that connects them.

As of posting this, Happy National Siblings Day! I encourage you to do something with your sibling or maybe be a little kinder to them today. And if you're feeling really generous and have a really cool sister named Anna, you could always send her some money for a treat. 

See you next week, 

-Return Address

A message to my brother (If I could finally convince him to read): Andrew, thanks for making me laugh and being my built-in friend, and you're welcome for not including the picture of you eating the marshmallow; it took real restraint. I was born knowing you.

Photo Cred: Google