You Made Them Important. They Made You Optional.

Inquiring minds want to know...

Why is it that so many people still care about people who make it clear they couldn't care less?

Whether it's waiting for a breadcrumb text from a one-sided friendship, or checking an ex's profile just to see if they're missing you... We've all been there.

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A few years back, a close homie of mine saw me entertaining someone I shouldn't have. I had real history with this person, which was making it hard for me to let go. He looked right at me and said, "Bruh, stop breaking your back for someone who won't even lift a damn finger for you." I didn't know what to say. I mean, what was I supposed to say? He was completely right.

The more I thought about what my homie said, the more the wisdom started flowing in--and it all just clicked. What is it exactly I'm caring about here?

Listen UIC, if the person doesn't care about you anymore, there isn't anything for you to care about either. Think about it. They're essentially a stranger now. Not literally, of course. You know their name. You know their birthday. You know their favorite songs... But the person that existed in the context of your relationship is gone.

Here's the core philosophy. They don't care anymore. So, there's no relationship anymore... Therefore, there's nothing left to care about. I think Socrates would have my back here, this sorta sounds like something he'd say, right?

"But the memories!"

I know, I know, memories are a powerful thing. But memories are associated with time, not necessarily the person. They represent a chapter of your life, that's what the memories are anchored to. So, you can keep all the late-night conversations, all the road trips, and the version of yourself you grew into... It was a cool chapter, right? But none of that requires you to keep investing in someone who no longer invests in you.

Maybe the real question isn't why we keep caring about people who couldn't care less. Maybe it's this: Why do we think someone's past importance gives them permanent access to us?